Preface

An Aga-saga for men (and for women wishing to know what men are really thinking) … The memoir of a man who simply wants to be loved.

From the Department of Dark Admissions:

– Actor Tim Bartholomew (pen-name Timothy Edward) is, or was nearly six decades ago, an adopted baby. Thirty-five years later, he tracked down his birth mother and tricked her into meeting him incognito.

– As is usual for an actor, Tim has experienced his fair share of P.E.S. (Punctured Ego Syndrome) and disappointment.

– As either pupil or teacher, Tim has attended at least eight educational establishments, all but one run by headmasters, many of whom would not look out of place at the tea-table of the Mad Hatter.

– Like most of us, Tim has lived a life not entirely devoid of highlights, crises, cowardice, bad behaviour and misery.

So, rather than allowing so many juicy, comic and humiliating adventures to fester unshared in the back of his mind, Tim took professional advice from a therapist (in a beer tent at a village fête) and penned Lessons in Humiliation, a work of self-help (100%), part fiction (7%), part misremembered (93%) and wholly improbable.

Not unlike Henry Robson, the hapless hero-narrator of the novel, Tim is a victim of his own rampant cynicism. In 1977, he crossed swords with his former Headmaster at a Bryanston School reunion: ‘Why are you so bloody cynical, Tim?’ queried the ecclesiastical gentleman. ‘Headmaster,’ interjected Tim’s pre-school teacher, Anne Brackenbury, who had overheard the exchange, ‘Tim has been a cynic since the age of five.’

Lessons in Humiliation should therefore be read in a confined space with at least one eyebrow raised. The novel’s material includes an infusion of Tim’s natural and unrepentantly naughty schoolboy sense of humour, lashings of good old-fashioned story-telling and a wealth of insight into a man’s need to be loved rather than pilloried. The result is a tale at times so funny, so raunchy, so sad and surreal that readers have been escorted off trains and buses to be delivered, strait-jacketed and crying with laughter, into the hands of caring health professionals.

To order a copy – paperback, e-book or audio (recorded by the author)

http://tinyurl.com/huvdjyc

Reviews for Lessons in Humiliation

“The wit of the writing is absolutely sublime and made me continuously laugh out loud. Some writers just have a gift for seeing bizarre characters in an otherwise normal people and bringing them to life, and Edward has this gift. A novel based around the author’s own experiences, it is heart-breakingly hilarious.”
Goodreads

“While the laughter is loud and unrelenting, there is also an undertow of sadness that elevates and enriches the reading experience. I was surprised to learn that this is a debut novel, because Timothy Edward writes with the flair and assurance of a seasoned comic novelist.”
David Pick, novelist

“I really enjoyed this book. Loved the style, the unusual and entertaining use of language, the many erotic moments, all written in a delightfully eccentric, humorous style. The book is a roller-coaster from one chapter to the next, from fun to f…..g! A great ride: Disneyland watch out! Loved the game of ‘Banter’ between Valerie and Henry, as they bat cruel and witty remarks back and forth, an entertaining game with no winner……..or is it Valerie?

Really enjoyed the stylish writing, the refreshing manipulation of words  – the better to describe a situation, situations that could have been mundane, but not here. This book uses language in such a way as to cause the reader to see the mundane in a new and amusing light, a light that illuminates the entire work.”
Peter Watson-Wood, Matador Films

“You’ve either had a very unusual sex life or a vivid imagination. I’ve hidden it from Mummy.”
A proud father