Published in May 2018 as a paperback and an e-book with Deep Desires Press, Body Language is a sexually explicit comedy thriller, a love story, a portrait of innocent and naïve devotion pitted against lust and retribution.  One satisfied reader reviewed it as “intellectual porn”.

See the Body Language page for more details.


Front Cover of Love Knot

Love Knot, the second novel in the Slave to Beauty trilogy – tracing Andrew and Bryony’s adventures on the Aegean – is published on January 22nd 2019.

See the Love Knot page for more details.

Tim is currently midway through the final novel in the series, Camera… Action.


Front cover of Lessons in Humiliation

Under his pen-name of Timothy Edward, Tim Bartholomew published Lessons in Humiliation in 2014. It is available through Amazon, iTunes and Troubador in paperback, audio and e-book. (There was a copy in Waterstone’s Piccadilly but someone’s either bought it or it’s been nicked.)

The novel is illustrated by the author.

A failed actor, a failing teacher, a philanderer and an adopted baby, Henry Robson is suffering. When two choices present themselves, he inadvisedly selects both.

Initially, a torrid affair seems to tick all the boxes, but any happiness derived from the liaison soon unravels when Henry, untrained as a teacher, accepts employment at a school run by a madman. Surrounded by specialists in humiliation – professional, public and private – will Henry learn his lesson?

Lessons in Humiliation traces the adventures and misadventures of this lovable but hapless rogue, a man who has been described by female readers as ‘all the more endearing for his weaknesses’. Sexual shenanigans, bad behaviour and pure slapstick jostle for supremacy with the downright surreal, but a box of tissues is advisable for moments of utter poignancy as Henry comes face to face with his birth mother.

See the Lessons in Humiliation page for more details.


Front cover of book

Tim has just completed a fourth novel, now entitled Conduct Inappropriate (as opposed to the reverse!).

As we enter the era of #metoo scandals, the novel explores the male ego, power, sexual expediency and the battle of the genders.

Unremarkable Sean meets charismatic and gifted Humphrey at boarding school. In denial about his homosexuality, Sean follows devotedly in the shadow of the prodigy until eventually being jettisoned as a professional liability. He sleepwalks through his middle years as a local radio presenter and amateur conductor, disappointing first one peevish wife and then another. Meanwhile, Humphrey, leaving a trail of devastated women behind him, soars to international fame as a conductor. Helena, however, his illegitimate daughter by Sean’s first wife, is instrumental in bringing about Humpo’s public humiliation whilst giving Sean the opportunity to redeem himself and acknowledge who he is.

See the Conduct Inappropriate page for more details.