Casting director: Jane Frisby
View Commercial: AIDS Alliance: Coming Together
One of my more unusual castings, reported in full in Chapter 3 of Lessons in Humiliation, during which Jane invites me to come in and have an orgasm at The Spotlight Casting Rooms. I said I would, of course, but declined the two bar stools offered because I’m an old-fashioned boy and like to perform horizontally.
Needless to say, my perfectly timed and auto-induced mock climax hit the spot and a week later I turn up at the crack of dawn in Newington Green knowing nothing except that there is breakfast laid on. The excellent Sylvie Francis from Toast TV leads me upstairs to costume and make-up where I rashly admit I’ve just done a student film in drag. Costume pops downstairs to director Gregg Masuak who commands that I do my scene for this Valentine’s Day AIDS commercial in drag – wig, corset and fishnets being readily procurable, even at this early hour.
Seventy-five minutes in make-up and then downstairs to the bedroom set. It transpires also that I am to be taken from behind by another woman, possibly my ‘wife’, played today by Helen Watson. This is a first for me. A quick run-through for sound and Gregg declares that we have certainly turned him on and ‘so we’ll go for a take’. After three minutes of heaving and ho-ing, slapping, tickling and squawking, we hear the instruction ‘OK, bring it up … a bit more … go for it! … and … CUT!’
Someone shouts that it’s lunch-time.
‘Don’t you want any close-ups?’ I enquire.
‘No need, mate,’ says Gregg, still perspiring. ‘We’ve got plenty. It’s comedy gold.’